newlife:day.one?

Today, I sold my car. Me--the girl who loves driving and roadtrip. My car--my first car, the little Subaru that's hauled me all over the past 3 or 4 years.

I posted it on Monday. That's right, two days ago, and it is gone. I was afraid it wouldn't sell soon enough (needed to go before my insurance ran out). I was afraid it I wouldn't get anything for it. And now it's gone, with a better return than expected.

Monday evening, I took it to be cleaned. I had a coupon, and well, how else do city folk get clean cars? When I got back in my shiny car to drive it for it's second viewing, I was amazed to look out the windows! I am the worst window-washer on the planet, so for the last three years, I have been driving through foggy glass. The car looked so new all clean! I thought of my friends last summer--selling their house; once it's clean and pared down, you get back that nostalgia of this belongs to me and have a yearning to keep it just a little longer. As soon as you step away and remember the situation, it doesn't take long to remember why it needed to happen in the first place--why you needed to leave town, why you had to go somewhere new, why your life is starting over, why you had to sell your car.

The security blanket of being able to pack my car and go wherever I want is now gone.

So here I am, Seattle. I am FINALLY whole-heartedly accepting this as my new life here in the city; my new life trusting in Jesus; my new life walking on my own two feet.

And biking, of course.

"I feel so urban," I told a friend as we biked home this evening.

"There really is something great about biking everywhere." I agree. Even though I end up scraping my legs every time I ride, there is something great about it.

I am learning to trust so much more. In a whole new kind of way. Trust my judgment; trust the road; trust balance; trust wind; trust hills and brakes; trust that God has a plan that might carry me from Denny Way to Western today but will ultimately take me wherever he wants me.

We're on the long-haul now. New life: day one.

(praying for the trust to continue beyond the rush of day one, over the lumps of sadness that shake me like potholes, past the changing signs and mixed signals and periods of doubt. praying.praying.praying.amen.)